"barbie changed everything. and then she changed everything again".

my night of candy coated self-discovery

I went to the Barbie movie last night. I did not grow up with a lot of dolls, but Barbie's royal pinkness and that scripty ‘B’, always seemed so perfectly me. I have had not one, but two pink offices, a peony painted closet and strong affection for the happy shade as an interior design neutral for decades. During the pandemic, I collected my fair share of late-in-life, Barbies. A tale for another time.

I have always admired her tiny, tipped way too forward shoes and plastic purses that are molded with the word happiness emblazoned on the front. It was and always has been the accessories for me. I have had a button on my stash since the 80s that says, "I want to be Barbie, that bitch has everything". A keeper. And the damn truth. I mean, have you seen her dream house and resume?

So, I donned a Gap white tee from their Barbie collab with a KEN logo (best piece in the collection)and a 90s pink Calypso silky skirt. (It always makes my "clean out the closet" cut—I mean, it’s pink!).

Two women in my new hometown have rallied to go. They arrived in full on pink looks and we had not even discussed the dressing up. It made my night. Sherri arrives in a jumpsuit, chunky hot pink rhinestones and tinted pink locks she wears all year long. (She is also a hardcore Bruce fan, the only other ‘B’ that matters to this Jersey girl). Jodi wears a ruffled top, white mini with metallic and rhinestone party girl stilettos in a cotton candy hue. Both are sporting heart shaped glasses they bring a pair for me too.

There was a make shift step and repeat. I wish it had been the signature Barbie box the big theaters are all sporting, but alas, we grabbed a few snaps.

All three of us are motherless daughters. These are the kind of things you learn, when you are the new-to-town "grief girl". Without sharing any spoilers, the movie will take you back to the nostalgia of the Barbie years, or a time you did or did not buy into Ms B. for your own daughter or son. It will also tug at your Mother/Daughter heart strings. Thanks for this Greta Greg. I mean it. I did not expect the movie to be "griefy", but actually welled up a few times.

There is a montage that got me right in the "missing my mom" gut. It was hitting chords. Hard. Is anyone else seeing and feeling this I thought, kind of embarrassed and surprised. And, I am a grief coach for goodness sake.

As we left the theater, folks were exchanging so-longs and reviews. Big feminist themes emerged and of course Barbie's be anything, save the day ethos. Thanks again, Greta, for getting it so right. I hope it moves a few young (and old) minds, I do. But, as we made our way onto the sidewalk, Sherri says, "what about that montage"?

Boom.

I thought I was alone in the dark and she was right there too. Seeing that scene from our shared experience. She reminds me the three of us are all motherless daughters. That the experience of the daughter in the film, is not what we all had. And that faded flashback. Well, it took me out. Downright tear jerking, Greta. Subtle for some perhaps, but not for us.

It touched me that Sherri brought it up. One of our trio that evening is also our town justice. Yup, Judge Jodi. The winks to '“her honor” in the film were also fun and important to take in from the perspective of my seat mate. I also learn she wears those pink heels, with her robe.

I often think 30 years after the death of my Mom Ellen, that I don't dare bring down the mood by bringing up that heavy moment for me. I was and am, so grateful that Sherri did.

We said our so-longs and I walked to my car. I left with my new rose colored glasses and shades of the past that I should always entertain. Thanks to Greta, Sherri and Jodi, I am no longer on tip-toes.

PS. Favorite quote from the movie: ”We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back to see how far they have come.”