taking to the page

two (maybe) new to you writers, some good juicy science and a free workshop inside

I was lucky enough to connect with two writers I admire yesterday. (Writers you should know and if you don’t already, you’re welcome!) I love to share the good, good with you. And these two are bests.

The first is poet Sara Rian. Many who follow her incredibly relatable and deeply healing griefy poems on instagram, may not know that she is also a Detroit based therapist. She is here on The Stack too, with Big Grief, Little Poems. She began writing and publishing her work to honor the grief she experienced when she lost her Mom to suicide. She talked to be about how complicated and complex it was and is to help folks meet this kind of loss. So many of us come to the page to sort and soothe our own grief and in the process find our people.

Her inspired poetry books are those I often share with grievers, read in my groups and on retreats. Stay tuned for our upcoming collaboration this Spring. (Think poetry and prompts with two grief girls who get it, in a warm and cozy workshop.) Her site is filled with all the ways you can purchase her poetry and prints.

I also received an advanced copy of Alessandra Olanow's Spring release, Begin Again and Again: Notes on the Art of Perpetual Renewal. It is available for pre-order now. (March 17 release) I cried when I received it. For real. Melted into each page and her stunning watercolors woven throughout. She found herself awake at 3 am with questions that wouldn’t settle and took to the page. It started as notes to herself and emerged as a book about the fundamental rhythm of being human: the constant cycle of questioning, doubt, finding ground, opening and renewal.

I have been a longtime fan of her work, words and creations (I am slowly burning one of the last of her stunning candles!) and the way she personalizes all of her offerings. You can feel her permission to invite transformation on every page. She has worked as an end of life doula and her books I Used To Have A Plan and Hello Grief are equally special.

I will be in conversations with her at Bedford Books on June 3rd.

There is good reason so many of us find ourselves reaching for a pen when life cracks open. Research in the field of Expressive Writing was pioneered by psychologist James W. Pennebaker. It shows that putting our thoughts and feelings into words helps the mind and body process what has been difficult to hold. When emotions stay unspoken, they often swirl in the nervous system without a place to land. Writing gives them somewhere to go. It’s a quiet way of saying, this happened. This mattered. And I am allowed to feel it.

Studies in psychology and neuroscience suggest when we translate feelings into language, different parts of the brain begin to work together. The emotional centers that hold the intensity soften when the thinking brain helps organize the experience. It helps our story take shape. And when something has shape, it often feels less overwhelming to carry.

Writing also allows us to witness ourselves with a kind of distance. On the page, what felt tangled inside can become something we can see, reflect on and return to later.

Researchers have found that folks who practice expressive writing over time report stress reduction, emotional clarity and even physical well-being. The act itself is simple. A page. A few honest sentences. And you.

I can hear you say, but Barri, I am not a writer. And I say, if you are writing you are a writer! Coming to the page isn’t about perfect words or polished thoughts. It is about giving inner life a place to breathe. A place where memories, questions, the love, the ache and all of it, can exist without needing to be solved. Sometimes the page simply holds what the heart has been carrying alone. It allows us to become our own story witness. To find movement in the very act of transferring thoughts to letters. Seeing it all outside of ourselves.

Join me this week 3.11 at 7pm est. It’s a Write to Heal workshop for paid subscribers. It’s five bucks and helps support scholarships to my grief support circles.

All you need is a pen and paper — maybe a hot cup of tea and your curiosity in tow. Save the date. Zoom link coming to all paid subs.

P.S. New support circles are open for Spring too.

Hope to meet you on the page. xo, B