the monmouth mall

and other places where my mom was pretty famous

I, have the prettiest mother in the world.

This is not surprising to those who knew her. Met her or loved her. She had the highest ever cheek bones. Slim and delicate nose and wrists.  Deep and large lids that could wear every color shadow she might layer on from the Borghese kits she so loved. Full lips that smacked Dentyne and smiled easily. Eyes that nearly matched her olive bathed skin and disappeared when she would giggle.   

An exotic creature. Dark. Mysterious. Prowling the Monmouth Mall before closing. Holding your hand as if it were her mission. Spencer Gifts for a treat. A&S for new boots. Heads turned when she passed.  Common and kind of fun to take in.

“You look just like your Mommy,” they’d say.

A phrase that would polka dot my life with pride, curiosity and countless thank you’s.

Neighborhood boys would hang out after school at our kitchen table. I’d catch them looking at her. She held a room with her stories and advice. Wise and sexy council. With her single-mom curves that showed up and off in her Vanderbilt jeans. Intimacy was her currency–warming acquaintances with hugs, as if she knew they were needed.

SHE, was the movie star who lived in my house. Never made a film or even acted a day in her life, but that was her role. I stared for clues that I may someday grow up to be her.

Each word she delivered into the air, seemed to hang for a bit like fireworks and then wash over whoever may be present. Glossing us.  

“You can’t look anything like your Daddy”, I’d hear. 

“You look like sisters”, they say.   

I wonder nightly if I will look young like her when I am older. The A&P…she’s nearly famous there. Write a check, they know you. Drop the dry-cleaning, see you next week Mrs. Leiner. Daily errands called in adventure and top-notch service. Each outing, a chance to see the way the world was watching her.

I have the prettiest mother in the world.

Bain de Soleil. Three pounds of Santa Rosa plums, a trashy romance novel and a day off at the beach.

I had the prettiest mother in the world. 

Until I did not.