you're so gifted

making merry of memories, mementos and moments large and small. instant heirlooms and the art of meaning-filled collections and connections. how what we live with and leave behind matters

Ellen Jane, my Mom, was a collector of adventure and experiences, and not much for “things”. This holiday season marks three decades since we celebrated together. She died suddenly at 50 with no will or warning—and precious few heirlooms to divvy, have or hold.

Photo by Jamez Picard on Unsplash

She was fierce about cleaning out the closets. OFTEN. When she passed away, our photo albums were sprinkled with moments in time with her. Most of those trips and stellar birthday celebrations are neatly saved in my memory.

Our gas tank was always on empty – racing and running to get the last bit of sun at the beach, or the final ten minutes of shopping at the mall. One of her most memorable adventure cries to my sister Danna and I, as the gas tank hit less than zero….”Lean forward girls, we are running on luck!”

We had few of her “things” – what little was left, we held close. I also held close to the ideal that we aren’t here forever and it’s our job to pass along our memories, family stories, traditions, recipes and heirlooms to the next  generation. We took the time to do this with relatives over Thanksgiving. Stories were exchanged, Ellis Island certificates, love letters, photos — truly a thrill. And a relief.

As a former photo stylist, vintage lover, flea market junkie and perpetual memory maker, people often assume my home might play a starring role in an episode of hoarders. How I collect and live among our memories has become part of our everyday decor.

A painting from vacation, details of the where and when are saved on back…a collection of dog art from a book I wrote framed and hung…a gifted Hermes scarf pressed and present on a wall at the bottom of the stairwell…a floor to ceiling bulletin behind my desk pinned with keepsakes and mementoes and notes and drawings from my daughters. It’s not stuck in a box, it’s out to share and admire and remember on a daily basis.

Many of my clients lose a loved one and don’t have photos framed in this era of digital files vs. piles. My first suggestion is always to pick a few and sprinkle them thought out the home. It is like visiting with them daily. It may take a while to feel up to doing this, but it creates meaningful conversations (about them and to them)!

Your space should tell the story of who lives there….even your gifts!

A few of my favorites:

-FRAMES

Everything can be framed:  Silhouettes of your children, samples of their handwriting and delicious misspellings, drawings in fancy ones are favorites, theater tickets, a piece of music, winnings from a skeeball game or the last ride at Kiddyland, a special letter or postmark….even a childhood swimsuit. Framebridge does a beautiful job with this idea and a local favorite in Chicago called Foursided. You can send along your item and create an instant heirloom.

Mark the back to commemorate events, purchases from flea markets, the history of a photo. Remember, you are recording details for the next generation. SPECIAL DATES and MONOGRAMS on photo frames create instant keepsakes.

-INHERITING PIECES OF THE PAST OFTEN REQUIRE REINVENTION….

My mom’s fur coat turned into pillows for my sofa, a great aunt’s collection of poodle brooches can be pinned to a pillow and sit in a special corner of a living room chair.  T-shirts, suits and oxfords, can be turned into stuffed animals or quilts. Furniture refinished, painted, recovered!

If you have an item that feels hard to part with or is on its last limbs (I see your stuffies), photograph and frame them. I love the work of The Heirloomist, check out their services and ideas in their new coffee table book.

-EVERYDAY IS SPECIAL

Don’t wait for special occasions to use Grandma’s china.  My battle cry --  light the candlesticks, set the table with the fancy stuff, have a soft drink in a champagne flute…it’s all a celebration.

-GROUPING LIKE ITEMS MAKES A COLLECTION

I collect shells by the bushel from every vacation, as I walk along the shore. I display them in big silver or ironstone bowls, atop stacks of books. Each greyed scallop shell tells a story. I can tell the Nantucket treasure from finds at my husband’s beloved shoreline at The Outer Banks. Heart shaped rocks find me wherever I roam, I pile them on my office windowsill.

-KEEPSAKES/GIFT GIVING – this is a big one for me…..

Think about giving items that are ever lasting… hand engraved silverware – even from the flea market (instant heirlooms for a new generation!) Start a collection of charms that someday will make up a bracelet. A signet ring, a dollhouse, sand from a favorite beach lining a candle holder, copies of favorite books with an inscription — I collect copies of Jane Austen’s Emma for my eldest and things with Q for my little one, Quinn.

-WHY WAIT!

Give things away while you are alive! My Dad showed up one New Year’s Eve to my home with a glass pitcher engraved with his initials. It was a gift bestowed upon him from his office and he knew I would appreciate it. I use it for flowers on a regular basis. I gifted a ring of mine to my daughter on her Sweet 16. I got it when she was born, with this intention in mind. Sometimes it is passing along an ethical will - not who get’s the family pearls - but the wisdom and values of an elder.

Let me know how you keep and keepsake….

x B.

PS. I will share some favorite (small biz) finds over the next few weeks on my Instagram. Come one and all.

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I am pleased to offer a virtual workshop with Kelsey Sawyer on December 4, in the evening — we will spend two hours via zoom exploring gentle movement and writing to reset and release during the holidays. (A treat for you and your nervous system. ) It will be recorded if you cannot join us live.