14 Comments

This is so beautiful and vulnerable and emotional, Barri. I feel like there are so many motherless mothers out there that could use your insights to help their hearts heal -- for themself, for their mothers, and for their children.

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You are such a generous reader and lovely soul.

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I'm just reflecting your light. Keep shining.

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The bottomless ache for mothering as a mother is so real. And so are the doses of mothering we get from therapists, mentors, and friends. Thanks for naming and validating it.

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Thank you for reading. "The bottomless ache" ... indeed.

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You prose like a poet, Bar. Immediacy and mystery, profound and quotidian, reflective while moving forward. So beautiful.

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Thank you.

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My mother died at 102 and I obviously had decades with her, but after the death it is never enough. I look back at the things I should have said, and done in her later years and feel shame and sadness. I held her had as she died . I believe you never move on from the loss of a mother.

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Whoa. . .thank you for saying this out loud - "The joy of having a mother daughter relationship again, seems to be coated in a sticky malaise." Thank you for writing such a spot-on truth about the unspeakable emotions (for most of us) we experience as mothers. . .My mother was called Grandy and she couldn't show up for the "save" and I remember how as a new mother I felt like an orphan ,and it only until I read your essay that this realization bubbled to the surface! Thank you.

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Thank you for reading and sharing your reflections and "bubbling". 🤍

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Thank you Barri for these tender, raw and resonant words.

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Love you for reading.

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so important to talk about this; remothering, reparenting ourselves.

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Thank you Gail. I keep meeting her and myself and missing her over and over again.

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