Our Pastor stood at the pulpit last Sunday and opened a pack of Marlboro cigarettes and counted out 15, and then shared the quote you just published on the screen behind him. I shamelessly copied and pasted the quote you made, because I was not fast enough to get a photo while it was on the big screen. You are welcome to sue me, but I will claim where I heard it first. As a former smoker it was a punch in the gut partly because it was so darned hard to quit and mainly because I am isolated in feeling and reality because my wife has Alzheimer's and is living with me but is rarely at home. She so far has not wondered but talks about her past or something I cannot understand, almost gibberish. I am not a writer or a podcaster but I bought the equipment to podcast so I started one. I need to write more, thank you for that encouragement. Your post and several others has helped me feel less isolated as does a caregiver support group I joined about 2 months ago. This new format by Substack has open a few doors like you and others that I had no idea existed.
The quote is not mine, it was part of the study. Share away.
My Dad also has Alz. He walked out the door one evening between caretaker coverage. It was then we knew we needed more support. First assisted living and now memory care. I am glad you found support. It is a living grief and one that is hard to understand unless you lose the person who is very much alive before your eyes. I have learned to love what is left. I always share this idea when I write-- with H.O.P.E. Help one person everyday. Thank you for sharing how it resonated. It means a lot to me. Take good care of you. And congrats on quitting. 🤍
I saw an interview with Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez a little while back. They said they were planning to re-release their movie "The Way."
Their reason being that the pandemic happened, and now it's supposedly over, and everyone just wants to get back to "normal."
They said that it appears that no one is addressing what all happened during the pandemic. And that there is a lot of grief that needs to be addressed.
I agree that most people have not addressed what happened over the last 3 years. And indeed there are many kinds of grief that need to be looked at and dealt with.
Perhaps that is adding to people's feeling of loneliness?
Thank you for your vulnerability here and for speaking to what so many women (including myself) often feel. We assume others are busy with full lives and busy does not mean connected. The need to appear that we are all wonderful and life is great prevents true connection which I know I feel a deep longing for in my friendships. This feels very important to discuss and explore so I appreciate you starting a conversation.
The "social" in social media is an interesting language - like you said - we think we know what is going on, how could we really though? I resonate with so much as I just loved to the East Coast and am exploring my own community connections, too. The loss of my grandmother while soon becoming a mother of 3 introduced me to a loneliness I had never met before. Getting to know myself still through that lens. Grateful for your words, your wisdom and work.
thank you, Barri. chronic heartache is real, connection is needed, intimate friendship is medicine.
Our Pastor stood at the pulpit last Sunday and opened a pack of Marlboro cigarettes and counted out 15, and then shared the quote you just published on the screen behind him. I shamelessly copied and pasted the quote you made, because I was not fast enough to get a photo while it was on the big screen. You are welcome to sue me, but I will claim where I heard it first. As a former smoker it was a punch in the gut partly because it was so darned hard to quit and mainly because I am isolated in feeling and reality because my wife has Alzheimer's and is living with me but is rarely at home. She so far has not wondered but talks about her past or something I cannot understand, almost gibberish. I am not a writer or a podcaster but I bought the equipment to podcast so I started one. I need to write more, thank you for that encouragement. Your post and several others has helped me feel less isolated as does a caregiver support group I joined about 2 months ago. This new format by Substack has open a few doors like you and others that I had no idea existed.
I am happy you found me.
The quote is not mine, it was part of the study. Share away.
My Dad also has Alz. He walked out the door one evening between caretaker coverage. It was then we knew we needed more support. First assisted living and now memory care. I am glad you found support. It is a living grief and one that is hard to understand unless you lose the person who is very much alive before your eyes. I have learned to love what is left. I always share this idea when I write-- with H.O.P.E. Help one person everyday. Thank you for sharing how it resonated. It means a lot to me. Take good care of you. And congrats on quitting. 🤍
Thank you for your writing, Barri.
I saw an interview with Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez a little while back. They said they were planning to re-release their movie "The Way."
Their reason being that the pandemic happened, and now it's supposedly over, and everyone just wants to get back to "normal."
They said that it appears that no one is addressing what all happened during the pandemic. And that there is a lot of grief that needs to be addressed.
I agree that most people have not addressed what happened over the last 3 years. And indeed there are many kinds of grief that need to be looked at and dealt with.
Perhaps that is adding to people's feeling of loneliness?
Thank you for naming this, and sharing the advisory recommendations. What a difference those kinds of policies could make.
Thank you for reading it. Please share it far and wide. 🤍
Thank you for your vulnerability here and for speaking to what so many women (including myself) often feel. We assume others are busy with full lives and busy does not mean connected. The need to appear that we are all wonderful and life is great prevents true connection which I know I feel a deep longing for in my friendships. This feels very important to discuss and explore so I appreciate you starting a conversation.
Thank you Dr Amy. 🤍
The "social" in social media is an interesting language - like you said - we think we know what is going on, how could we really though? I resonate with so much as I just loved to the East Coast and am exploring my own community connections, too. The loss of my grandmother while soon becoming a mother of 3 introduced me to a loneliness I had never met before. Getting to know myself still through that lens. Grateful for your words, your wisdom and work.
And through our words and vulnerability we are connected in a meaningful way. Maybe someday in person. 🤍