“Sorry for your Loss” is a polite phrase that we share with someone who has just endured a life altering loss. We know it. Others have said it and so we do. Look, I do too. It’s well-meaning, sure, and often it’s the best of what we have learned to say in polite society.
Bottom line, we are not good at grief, but I believe we can be better. Not in a morbid race for who wins the Grief Olympics. Believe me, this is not a competition and there is no finish line on this unwieldy but beautifully transformational journey of learning to live with loss. When it comes to which grief is the worst or perhaps most award-worthy (and people always ask me) — I always say….it’s yours.
“So Sorry For Your Loss”, is a mix of memoir and interview bits and bites from leaders in the field sprinkled in with Dina’s seasoned journalistic know how, so you have a not-too-much but just-right understanding of some why’s and what’s happenings.
It’s a Permission GRANTed recommendation! I like the idea of adding a note that says, “For when you are ready….” — this is true for any book or journal you pass along to a griever.
I hope you will take some time to listen to my talk with
if you missed it live. She invites us behind the pages and shares what it’s like to endure her two life changing losses.Dina is warm, wise, honest and fun — yep, she tosses in just the right side of humor that makes sitting in the muck with her come with a hope and truth we could all use right about now.
We will all be here someday in some way — grief is inevitable. I know lots of you here have arrived because you are looking for “the others” who get it. I will try to introduce you to them, here. More like Dina — authors, experts and friends who I think you should know. You can also meet them in the subscriber chat. I will be there to answer your questions, help with resources and support and show up on the hallmark days and everyday you are missing your people or wading through the everyday.
If you take away one thing on this Sunday morning, let it be this — we want to talk about our people. We also want to know that even if you don’t get it, (*yet*) that you know even a smidge, that this is awful and devastating and we are sitting in the suck. So, show up. Just as you are. As your most authentic you.
If you meet someone who has experienced the death of a loved one you will often hear them say, Mom died after years of living with Cancer, or we lost my Dad last month. I immediately say, “tell me their name.” I do this because in 1993, I would find myself in situations where I would have to share that my Mom was no longer alive and would not be coming to family day at school for my kids. I’d say it fast so as not to make others uncomfortable and quickly close the awkward moment.
I then flipped my script. I now say, I lost my Mom Ellen, in 1993. I say her name. (I also order coffee and to-go items in her name, so I can hear it yelled out on the daily.) This helped bring her into rooms and conversations. I brought her forward and along. And I hope you will too.
Grief and loss changes us, and so too does being able to remember our people. Let us tell you their stories. In the pages of a book, blog, Substack post, podcast sure — but also as we stand waiting on line at the coffee shop. It happened yesterday at brunch in the city. A gentleman at the counter asked for a recommendation. We asked how his meal was as we got up to leave and he said, “My Dad would have loved it, he was crazy for a good pastrami sandwich.” I hear the past tense and ask his name. Joe. I tell him, my Dad Neil loved it too, with a Dr. Brown’s Diet Creme. I tell him I hope Joe and Neil have met and are having one too. He said he is sure if there is heaven that they are enjoying a spot at the counter together. And a side of fries.
Thank you
, , and many others for tuning into my live video with ! Join me for my next live video in the app.
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